literature

Happy Birthday

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Daily Deviation

Daily Deviation

September 29, 2013
Happy Birthday by ~xShadow-of-the-Herox Also suggested by =ILoveThePanda
Featured by inknalcohol
Suggested by ttbloodlusttt
xShadow-of-the-Herox's avatar
Published:
10.4K Views

Literature Text

This is not a poem.

It's not even a story.

This is a simple observation.

Today I was on Facebook, a dangerously common occurrence for me. Borderline addiction, possibly. I looked to the right column where events and birthdays are posted, and noticed it was a friend's birthday. And I hesitated in saying anything.

I hesitated to say happy birthday to a friend. Why?

Was it because we only had one community college class together a couple of years ago, so our friendship is little more than a past acquaintance that hasn't yet ceased to exist on a social media site?

Was it because I didn't have the time to type out those two simple words, perhaps even a dot of punctuation if I'm splurging on free time? The answer to this question is no, because even though I have a quiz tomorrow and two midterms next week, I was clearly distracted on Facebook nonetheless. Besides, I'm typing this now, and it's quite more extensive than a happy birthday.

Was it because I thought it would be awkward if he got a happy birthday message from someone who isn't really a friend in real life, who he hasn't communicated with in over two years, someone who was never a real friend to start out with? Perhaps it would seem fake, as if the words were spewed from the practiced motion of doing as Facebook tells us and wishing someone merriment because they happened to be born on this day some amount of years ago.

And then the guilt set it.

It wasn't intense guilt, nothing stomach-turning or tear-inducing.

But it was there, a fragment of an emotion telling me something was wrong. Something is wrong with me. With us.

Because I am damn sure I am not the only person that hesitated in typing out a birthday message to him. This happens every day, to most social media junkies. And it's not okay.

Did my entire friend's list wish me a happy birthday when my day came and went back in January? No, and that's not an issue.

What the issue is that we are afraid to send even a virtual, two-word message to someone, with no strings attached, because of some arbitrary fear that it will seem shallow, awkward, or unnecessary.

I am not demanding that you must wish everyone a happy birthday because Facebook reminds you of the date. I am not demanding anything of you. I am simply asking you to observe this phenomenon with me. Ask yourself this question, these following questions, if you're brave enough. If you have the time. Ask yourself these questions even if you're a coward or have no time at all.

Why is it scary to type out a friendly message?

Why do we hesitate to smile at someone we pass on the street?

Why is starting a conversation with a stranger so terrifying?

What are we so afraid of? When did this start? This is not a new occurrence, but one perpetuated more easily and obviously by social media and the norms of conversing with others, with our family, friends, frenemies, acquaintances, peers, and strangers.

And if you don't say happy birthday because you don't know these people, why are they on your friend's list? If you're scared to say happy birthday, why do you allow so much of your personal business to become public to strangers? You won't say hello to someone on the street as you pass by or wait for the same bus, but you'll accept or send friend requests from someone you don't know with little to no regard the amount of information about you they can reap?

Is a screen that powerful that it can banish this apparently innate human fear to socialize with those of unknown persons?

No, it's not innate. Even the shyest of children communicate with strangers everyday. And they have to, because their world is so small, if they never met anyone new, they'd never grow and experience and live.

I'm not demanding anything of you. I just want you to think about this for awhile.

Why are we so scared to say something, something as simple and friendly as happy birthday?

Happy birthday.

No response yet. I'm not expecting one. He might say thank you. He might say nothing. And that's okay. Because I said happy birthday. I extended that tiny amount of energy to cheer for him. To acknowledge his existence, to notice that he is alive and aging and important too.

And you know what? It didn't hurt to type those words. It didn't hurt a goddamn bit.
My thoughts.

Now I study.

Edit: Thank you so much for the Daily Deviation, and all the attention! I appreciate it greatly, and it makes my heart swell with love for everyone who looked at this. Thank you so, so much! :heart:
© 2013 - 2024 xShadow-of-the-Herox
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C-Los007's avatar
xShadow-of-the-Herox Wishing you a very Happy Birthday! When the day comes :)